January 19, 2011

folgers destroyed our coffee maker

Posted in Starbucks tagged , at 12:04 pm by weiszguy

The coffee maker at work hadn’t been used in months when I inherited it a while back, and the prehistoric sludge inside supported a thick layer of fuzzy green gunk. I took it home and scrubbed everything I could reach, and twice gave it the vinegar detox treatment.

I brought it back to work and filled it with cold, filtered water and brewed Starbucks finest blend in it. The aroma wafted through the office and drew all coffee lovers to it, and some only occasional coffee lovers.

This happy scene replayed itself day after day until, one day, we had no more grounds. I stole some grounds from another coffee maker in the building – but these were no ordinary grounds, no, these were Folgers finest blend.

The aroma was instantly revolting. It smelled bitter and metallic, as if it had come from Louisiana through an interstate pipeline. The flavor (once I got over the aroma) lacked anything beyond brown heated water.

The coffee didn’t get any better over the next few days. Thinking the problem was the grounds, I brought in some home-ground Starbucks to test my hypothesis. The ugly, bitter, metallic aroma and flavor disappeared instantly, as if by magic. I tried Folgers again the next day, and the ugliness returned.

The next batch of grounds the company purchased for office use was Folgers. No use complaining to HR – what was done was done. It took two months to use up that tub of nastiness, and then HR was persuaded to remedy its ways and return to Starbucks.

But this time the Starbucks didn’t taste the same. It was different from the Folgers, but it wasn’t as good as previous Starbucks attempts. I made Starbucks again the next several days, but it was never as good.

Taking the coffee maker home for another detox didn’t help. Brewing more Starbucks didn’t help. I even brewed another pot of Folgers just to see if the Folgers was tasting different too. No joy.

Folgers destroyed our coffee maker.