April 29, 2008

why I hate dogs

Posted in money, spending tagged , at 6:05 pm by weiszguy

poop

Our dog poops in the basement.  We can’t get him to stop.  Tonight we were gone for less than an hour, but when we came home – a nice present on the floor.  He knows where he’s supposed to go, and normally he does a good job.  But more often than should be, he doesn’t wait to go out.

pee

Our dog pees on me whenever I come home.  He really misses us, so whenever we return from being gone he goes nuts, jumping, barking, licking, running around.  Which is all good.  But when he gets to me, for some reason his pee-pee muscle just relaxes.  Never fails.  Every time.  But only for me, not for the rest of the family.

barking

Our dog barks uncontrollably whenever anybody who isn’t a member of our immediate family comes over.  This includes good friends of ours, frequent visitors, and especially the meter reader.  We can’t get him to stop.  For a while our daughter’s friends were afraid to come over because of the dog.  And God forbid another animal walk by the window.

shedding

Our dog is losing his hair.  Or so it seems.  We have dog hair on the floor, on the couch, on our coats, on the table.  You don’t have to find too many of these hairs in your food before you start to wonder how sanitary it all is.

bolting

Our dog likes to bolt.  If we leave the door open a split second too long, he’s gone.  And he doesn’t want to come back.  We can call his name, offer treats, offer car rides.  No luck.  The neighbors have a horse and the dog likes to get in the horse’s pen and yap his head off.  The horse is starting to get annoyed.  I fully expected the dog to get a horse shoe to the head one of these days.

expensive

Our dog costs a lot of money.  We have to feed him, groom him, provide bed and bedding, get his shots, and buy him chew toys.  We were thinking of fencing the back yard, mainly to help with the bolting problem, but that was going to cost a couple thousand dollars.  I was going along with the plan for a while, then one day I woke up and said, “That much money for a stupid little dog?!”

Face it, dogs don’t bring that much value to our lives.  Sheep dogs?  Sure.  Guard dogs?  Sure.  Lap dogs?  Are you out of your freakin’ mind?  I know I was.

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28 Comments »

  1. Tim said,

    I was so surprised when you told me you got a dog. I know you knew that dogs caused all of these problems way back when I wanted a dog. So you knew the consequences, and got one anyway.

    Now you can’t just get rid of it because your children will break their hearts! So you must suck it up and bare it as well you can…. good luck!

  2. Lonny said,

    You’re not gonna like what I have to say, but you’re not putting in the time and energy it takes to train your dog not to do these things. I ain’t mad at you for not liking dogs (I HAAAAATE cats), but YOU OWN A DOG and the things you complain about are the result of what happens when you don’t train a dog to maintain “house etiquette”.
    I didn’t have enough money to send my Golden Retriever to training sessions, so I did my research and learned how to train her myself by renting instructional books and videos about dog training from the library.
    I’m proud to say that I trained my Golden VERY WELL and people often compliment me on her wonderful mannerisms (she’s a house dog, she sleeps on the bed with me every night).
    I can now boast that I can housebreak ANY dog in 3 to 5 days and can eliminate most behavioral problems.
    If you want to know how it’s done, reply to this post and I’ll hit your contact button with some valuable info!
    When a dog isn’t trained, both the owner AND the dog are miserable. You’re miserable because your house is getting torn up and the dog is miserable because you’re probably yelling at him/her all the time.

    :o)

    • Dog Hater said,

      You’re an idiot. Dogs add no value to human life. They are stupid animals and should be treated as such and certainly not as members of the family.

      • KaD said,

        Dogs are awful pets. No other animal comes with the plethora of behavioral problems dogs do. You never hear anyone say ‘there are no bad cats/hamsters/rabbits, just bad owners’, only dogs. Dogs are unpredictable, aggressive, ugly, noisy, filthy. My partner had a dog and a cat when we met. Cat: no problem. Make sure the fountain has water, food in the bowl, good to go. The dog begs or trolls the house for food constantly, must wake up early, even on weekends and vacation to feed it, walk it daily (no matter what the weather is or if you’re sick), can’t go anywhere without dealing with the dog (take it with us, board it, hire someone to come over), it wants attention constantly, wakes me up at night clawing the carpeting or pulling the blanket off the bed, sheds horridly, needs its nails trimmed and files, constant brushing, stinks, eats catshit every chance it gets and then has horrible gas, shits like a horse, costs us $100 just for food. It’s just a constant chore having a dog. Then there’s always the neighbors dogs who try and attack this dog or just bark ALL night long. Dogs ruin everything.

    • KaD said,

      I don’t understand how anyone can love smelly, dirty, filthy, ugly, slobbering, up your ass, loud, annoying, destructive dogs and hate clean, quiet, kooky cats.

    • Lori said,

      I have a mini Australian shepherd who loves my immediate family but barks and growls viciously at anyone who comes in our house. Any suggestions for modifying this behavior?

  3. […] in pets tagged dogs at 6:30 pm by weiszguy We have a little dog, as you may have heard.  He does this little, low growl in the back of his throat whenever he doesn’t want to be […]

  4. WR said,

    Just shoot your dog in the head. Dogs suck.

    • KaD said,

      The guy who owns the horse is probably going to do it one of these days anyways.

  5. LK said,

    So… Lonny. Why don’t you talk to my HUSBAND. *** I HATE HIS DOGS *** for all the same reasons that the original poster stated. However. These are my HUSBAND’s dogs. HE WILL NOT TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY; he doesn’t want to spend the “time and energy” that it takes to be a RESPONSIBLE pet owner. I have *tried* and *tried* and TRIED. The dog bolts… because *I* forgot that I’m not supposed to open the front door wide enough to let my fat ass through. The dog chews up my underwear (ten pairs so far) and CHEWED THE CROTCH OF A $75 PAIR OF JEANS. (yeah, I know, but it wasn’t funny when it happened). *ALL* of the woodwork in my house is destroyed, we just got back from Thanksgiving dinner to find that they trashed a bunch more of MY stuff….. I have threatened to kick my husband and his two dogs out…. and I think that’s the only solution, because even after that threat, he REFUSED to take the dogs for training (doesn’t want to spend the money) and he won’t train them himself (because as far as HE is concerned, everything is just hunky dory the way it is). The husband has said that if the dogs go, he goes. well, I guess I know where I stand. It has gotten to the point where I cannot stand to be in the same room as those F*CKING MUTTS. (sorry for the language, but I am REALLY REALLY ANGRY.)

    • KaD said,

      Same with my guy. He had a collie when I met him. This dog is supposed to be brushed an HOUR every week. I don’t think he brushes the dog an hour in four months. The hair is everywhere. He hasn’t bathed the dog since March. I end up walking it and cleaning the shit, I’m allergic and not doing more than that. He doesn’t need another high maintenance breed if he can’t take care of this one.

  6. Ana said,

    For the “bolting” part, I would have just let it happen “accidentally” and be like “oops!”
    I totally agree with everything you said here. Dogs are just fucking dumb, emotional and needy twats.
    Being strong-willed (and cold, to say the least), I would never let my husband get away with saying “if the dogs go, I’ll go.” “Oh yeah!? Then all of you can fucking go!” It shows that he loves the dogs more than he loves you, and that’s just not going to end well.

    • KaD said,

      I feel the same way. I live with a filthy needy neurotic long haired collie. He thinks he’s getting a golden when this thing dies. I think if he gets one he and his dog can live happily ever after alone.

  7. Sherri said,

    2 words: Old Yeller

    • Dog Hater said,

      What does that even mean? One word: Clifford

      • KaD said,

        Marly.

  8. killer said,

    heh i agree i hate all dogs thare stupid un intelligent animals who yap bark pee rip destroy kill and they loove to friggin chew…now what suprises me is pepole say dogs are smarter then cats(pfft hahahahha!! stupid morons) i have never seen a cat chew a couch or distrespect someones leg by peeing or in fact ive never herd of someone diing because of a house cat. i hate dogs and whoever dissagrees sucks!

  9. T Day said,

    Dogs are a pain in the ass. My wife thinks ours is “protection,” but she is way less protection than our cat (who is practically worthless). Why anyone would want to live with a dog is beyond me, but there you go; there is no explaining human nature. As far as I can see, the best thing about dogs is that they don’t live very long and you get a civilized period between the last one dying and the next one your wife insists on “adopting.”

    Why do they call if “adopting?” Pretty sick, if you ask me. You adopt human kids, you “own” a damn dog and ought to be able to whack it on the head and cook up the good parts at your convenience.

  10. sammy jo said,

    Hey I was in the same boat as you a few years ago. I’ll call it temporary insanity. Don’t listen to the poster who says you have to suck it up. That dog is better off with someone who actually wants it. Part of the reason it’s acting up is that you’re probably not giving it the attention it needs…because you don’t like it an never will.
    I gave my dog to my dad who loves him. They’re both really happy. As am I! Everyone wins.
    Give your dog to someone else.

    • gigik said,

      I gave away our puppy after about 6 weeks. My daughter begged for one, so I thought, maybe we could do this. I have never loved
      dogs. I am afraid of large dogs after I was attacked when I was 6.
      Anyways, the puppy really stresed me out. I definitely wasn’t prepared. It was one more thing/responsibility for me to take care
      of. we gave the puppy to my husband’s sister who already had one
      dog. Apparently she is doing great. My kids sort of understood why
      we gave Ginger away, although my daughter has taken it pretty hard.
      Of course I feel sad and quilty that my daughter was upset by it. If
      I could go back in time, I never would have got one in the first place.
      I like dogs, but I don’t want to take care of one.

    • gigik said,

      sannyjo, you make me feel a little better. I gave away our puppy
      after 6 weeks. I wasn’t prepared for the time commitment and
      responsibility. We are so busy and travel often. I still feel bad, though, because my kids took it hard. I feel like a terrible mother.
      I wish I never got one in the first place. Any comforting comments
      welcome!

  11. Ray said,

    We used to have this type of problem when the dog was young. It seems the dog was trying to punish us for leaving it alone. It stopped after awhile.

  12. doggiedoodles said,

    Why I HATE Dogs
    1. Shit/pees in the house
    2. Smells HORRIBLE and leaves his scent all over my house
    3. Has chewed the crotches right out of several pairs of my jeans and many pairs of underpants belonging to me and my teenage daughter
    4. walks into a room of our friends/family with a pair of my underpants on his head
    5. Chews every item in his path (books, clothing, handbags, shoes, etc..) Yes, even if you go to Pet Smart and buy him special “chewy” toys and bones
    6. You really can’t be spontaneous and decide to go to the shore for the weekend unless you first consider where you dog will be and who will care for him in your absence
    7. Escapes from the FENCED-IN back yard and barks loudly at neighbor’s homes who own dogs
    8. Trys to hump all dogs-even other males- and even animals of a different species
    9. Requires huge amount of attention that my teenage daughter cannot give it becuase she is too busy living her fabulous teenage life to deal with a smelly dog

  13. Josh said,

    People treat dogs like royalty nowadays. They probably have more rights than humans. A young girl in Iowa was killed by someone’s dog, and the police say it was an accident and there can’t be charges! WTF! It’s probably a more painful death to get mauled by a dog than it is to get shot in the head. It a person would have killed this girl, they would have gone to prison for life (the news story is at http://www.kimt.com/news/state/story/No-charges-in-dog-attack-that-killed-Iowa-girl/q0nzxhrTWUq1NjwX-BH3cw.cspx)
    Also, every dog smells like it bathes is crap, no matter how often you wash them. I know a person who gives their dog (or to them it’s probably their god) treats every time it goes outside to go to the bathroom, and the ugly thing has been trained for 12 years!! Even when the dog pees on the carpet she rewards it so it doesn’t feel bad! It supposed to feel bad when that happens.

    Dogs are also a waste of money. You have to pay to feed them and buy them annoying toys. Dogs today can’t even help you if your in danger because they solely rely on us to do stuff for them (either that or they go and eat little girls in Iowa). People should stop having dogs as a pet. I’m fine with other animal, and would gladly have almost any pet other than a dog.

    • KaD said,

      That is bullshit. Even in a one bite state they should at least be charged with neglient homicide.

  14. KaD said,

    Why aren’t the dog haters here on my favorite site? http://www.whyihatedogs.com/top-10-reasons-why-i-hate-dogs/

  15. Audrey said,

    Hi there, KaD
    Love to join in. And voice my gripe about why do so many people have dogs?
    I have noticed more and more, everywhere I go when I am out and about, when I take my kids to friends’ houses, the families of my kids’ friends all have dogs! I now anticipate in my mind “I’ll bet they have a dog….” and sure enough….! What IS going on? Too many people have dogs? Why?


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