poop

Our dog poops in the basement.  We can’t get him to stop.  Tonight we were gone for less than an hour, but when we came home - a nice present on the floor.  He knows where he’s supposed to go, and normally he does a good job.  But more often than should be, he doesn’t wait to go out.

pee

Our dog pees on me whenever I come home.  He really misses us, so whenever we return from being gone he goes nuts, jumping, barking, licking, running around.  Which is all good.  But when he gets to me, for some reason his pee-pee muscle just relaxes.  Never fails.  Every time.  But only for me, not for the rest of the family.

barking

Our dog barks uncontrollably whenever anybody who isn’t a member of our immediate family comes over.  This includes good friends of ours, frequent visitors, and especially the meter reader.  We can’t get him to stop.  For a while our daughter’s friends were afraid to come over because of the dog.  And God forbid another animal walk by the window.

shedding

Our dog is losing his hair.  Or so it seems.  We have dog hair on the floor, on the couch, on our coats, on the table.  You don’t have to find too many of these hairs in your food before you start to wonder how sanitary it all is.

bolting

Our dog likes to bolt.  If we leave the door open a split second too long, he’s gone.  And he doesn’t want to come back.  We can call his name, offer treats, offer car rides.  No luck.  The neighbors have a horse and the dog likes to get in the horse’s pen and yap his head off.  The horse is starting to get annoyed.  I fully expected the dog to get a horse shoe to the head one of these days.

expensive

Our dog costs a lot of money.  We have to feed him, groom him, provide bed and bedding, get his shots, and buy him chew toys.  We were thinking of fencing the back yard, mainly to help with the bolting problem, but that was going to cost a couple thousand dollars.  I was going along with the plan for a while, then one day I woke up and said, “That much money for a stupid little dog?!”

Face it, dogs don’t bring that much value to our lives.  Sheep dogs?  Sure.  Guard dogs?  Sure.  Lap dogs?  Are you out of your freakin’ mind?  I know I was.

Congratulate me, I am now a paid writer.  Yesterday I got my first check for writing the column in the Greenhorn Valley View.  (You do know I write a column, right?  Check it out at: http://moneycolumn.wordpress.com/)

As paychecks go, I’ve had bigger.  But it’s actually kind of fun to look at.   I’m staring at it right now wondering if I should frame it or take the family out for pizza.

Virgin and Google are going to Mars.  Classic.

http://www.google.com/virgle/index.html

Kill one person,
it’s called murder;
kill millions,
it’s called abortion.

I’m a little late to this party, but I’d like to throw in my 2¢ regarding Apple’s newest release of the Safari browser.  I heard from Chris Pirillo that it was awesome, several leaps beyond Firefox.

I beg to disagree.

1. Before I even learned of Chris’ Safari fanaticism, Apple tried to push Safari on me with their Apple Software Update application.  Apple has become insidious in this way, just like Microsoft.  I didn’t know Apple Software Update was installed, so I uninstalled it.  I’ve also uninstalled iTunes, since WinAmp can manage iPods now.  (And yes, I have Windows Automatic Updates turned off.  I, and I alone, will decide when software is added or updated on my computer.)
2. Firefox was several leaps beyond Internet Explorer, and I’ve become quite accustomed to Firefox functionality.  One thing Firefox can do that Safari cannot is set links that want to open new windows, to open new tabs instead.  When I click a link, and an entire new Safari window is opened, I’m annoyed.
3. Unlike Chris, I ran into many, many pages that did not render correctly in Safari.  I don’t know if this is the fault of the web developers, or the fault of the browser developers, but I really don’t care.  When I use Safari, web pages look screwed up.
4. Another sweet thing Firefox can do is open several websites, all in different tabs, when I click the home button.  Safari would do well to incorporate similar functionality.
5. Safari is difficult to see.  The black text blends into the dark gray background and I can’t quickly tell what it says, especially from far away.  Is there a way to change colors or themes?  This would make it a lot more usable.
6. Google Spreadsheets don’t work as well in Safari.  I can’t use the arrow keys to navigate between cells, and switching back and forth between keyboard and mouse gets cumbersome quickly.

If I am incorrect about any of these things, especially confusion about the functionality, please let me know.  If there are quick fixes to any of these issues I will happily look at Safari again.

This editorial from the Wall Street Journal addresses the recent debacle out of California: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120614130694756089.html

Do parents really need to be certified to teach their children?  What would a parent need to do to get certified?  Show mastery of educational history?  Understand classroom management techniques?  Attend seminars designed to show teachers how to teach homosexuality?

I’m not a certified teacher, but I can read, which means I don’t have any trouble following any of the thousands of pre-planned lessons available to anyone who wants them.  I also love my children, which means I care enough to make sure they know how to be respectful, how to be honest, and how to stand up for what is right, in addition to the 3 Rs.

The California case involves a couple who allegedly abused their children.  If true, that is a shame.  There are laws against child abuse, and when abuse occurs the children ought to be helped and the parents dealt with.  But remind me what this has to do with homeschooling?

There is no cause and effect relationship between school and child abuse. Any parent, regardless of the educational status of their children, can abuse their children.  Using the logic of the California court, we could just as easily pull all abused children out of public school, because, who knows, maybe the school is causing the parents to abuse the children?  And let us not forget, many, many children are abused by their public school teachers.  Why don’t we require those children to be removed from the schools?

Like the writer of the WSJ editorial, I would like to know where the presidential candidates stand on homeschooling.  Specifically, do they believe parents need to be certified in order to teach their children?  The answer to that one question would go a long way toward helping me make up my mind in November.

I am of two minds regarding the Elliot Spitzer news.

Spitzer was like a super-hero, capable of single-handedly bringing powerful, multi-national investment companies to their knees.  This guy brought a lot of change to Wall Street.  Hearing of his downfall is a little like hearing that Luke Skywalker has turned to the dark side.  I just want to scream, “Why?”  How could he let this happen?

The other side of me is a little giddy.  Finally, this dork that caused all this trouble on Wall Street is shut up.  He has caused investment companies no end of new hoops to jump through, i’s to dot, t’s to cross.  Whatever he does for the rest of his life, he will no longer strike fear in people’s hearts.   Good riddance.

Read my newspaper column for February 20 on MoneyColumn.

I got another call today, identical to this one: http://weiszguy.wordpress.com/2007/08/28/automotive-telemarketing/

Because they had the chutzpah to make the same call twice, I’m no longer going to hide their name: Pueblo Dodge.

That Carrie Underwood song that was all over the radio a couple years back really grated on me. I know it’s a little late, but here is a response from Tim Hawkins that had me rolling on the floor. Be sure to catch Cletus’ solo near the end. Hysterical!